So the time has come, the time that I knew we be upon us soon. Our NCT meet ups are no more...
I was sort of hoping that it might last until the 6 big ones (who are all almost 4) went to school next year but sadly our Friday meet ups at our houses have become ditched rather abruptly today.
The last 3 weeks have been especially mad, with six 4 year olds, and five under 2's it is utter chaos, long gone are the days when us 6 Mum's could enjoy a natter over a cuppa and some cake, in it's place we are left with toys strewn all over the house, children jumping in and out of beds and emptying the bedroom's contents, cake crumbs trodden into carpet and battle upon battle over toys, and child related disagreements. The aftermath of recent meet ups is a house full of mess and in my case an afternoon being knackered on the sofa wondering why I bothered to clean my house so well the day before!
It really is such a shame, we have met every Friday for the last 4 years, these 5 other ladies have been with me from the start of my parenting journey, a journey where at first I felt scared and lonely having no friends in the same position as me. I can honestly say I think without them I may have fallen down the road of depression, I would have become a recluse, I wouldn't have gone to any of the baby groups I went to, I certainly wouldn't have eased the severe anxiety I hid after having Alex.
Obviously we will still meet up, we are still planning to catch up every few weeks but at soft play and a local park, the only problem being for me is that I don't drive and have no easy way of getting to any of these places due to the buses going no where near to them! So I know that I will be unable to go and catch up many weeks. And yes we are planning to go out for girls nights like the Dad's try to every month, but that is one side of my anxiety I have sadly not been able to ease, when I am out without my partner or children as my crutches my anxiety really comes out to play. Since we booked a night out last week in our diaries it has played on the back of my mind, I am instantly thinking of what excuse I could use that I haven't before, even though it isn't until the 23rd-how wrong is that? I'd love to be able to look forward to a night out with the girls rather than dread it.
I guess tonight I am just feeling a little bit glum, these are the only people I see on a regular basis, I no longer feel I can go to the children's group I went to as Alex is just too big, I can't afford to book into term bookings of any other groups, so I am just feeling a little lost. They all have other close friends that they see regularly, me and James don't really, we don't have a group of friends we meet with from school or college. We each have a couple of friends we see once every few months, that's it.
The end of a parenting era