1st Anniversary fun

I know, I know I have not posted for ages, yet again!

I have been busy making for my business, and keeping the two boys somewhat occupied over the holidays, and also going on holiday ourselves too (which I also need to blog).

The weekend before last was a busy one, I was bridesmaid for one of my bridesmaids a year before (literally-the same Saturday)!

I've known her since reception so nearly 21 years, which just makes me feel old writing, that. It was a wonderful day, celebrating our friend's special day and seeing some faces I had not seen for a while. Growing up her family was almost my second family and vice versa!

They were super lucky with the weather too as it was such a gorgeous and sunny day!

Both the boys were super party animals, Sam staying awake until 9.30 and then crashing out along 3 chairs, sleeping through the rock band they had playing all night! And Alex, well he was still awake past midnight chatting away to some of James' old school friends!!

 

So after all the celebrating, we were all feeling a little delicate the morning after (despite us not really drinking as we aren't massive drinkers), but it was a special morning none the less as it was out 1st anniversary.

It is crazy how fast the year has flown by, it really doesn't seem that long ago I was planning all the small details! 

We had a VERY lazy morning...ie. my Mum dropped round with our cards and present well after 11 and we were all still in PJ's! We popped to James' parents for lunch and they had organised between them and James to go to an open air screening of Top Gun in a local park in the eve.

I will admit I wasn't to excited to go, purely as I was just so tired from the day before! But it was a really good night, we bought a picnic along and some camping chairs.

There were freebies and competitions to enter whilst we waited for it to get dark, one of them being a chance to sit/lie in the cosy bed placed central to the big screen. So James and I thought it would be a laugh to enter, as you just had to take a photo at their booth.

I had to choose and Sandy and Danny outfit from their collection-and funnily enough we won!

So there we were, photo on big screen announced as the winners, EVERYONE looking at us walking over to the HUGE bed, bottle of champagne, snacks, and beer too!

At first it was embarrassing, but after about 5 mins I didn't care, it was so comfy and warm, and the champagne was a perfect way to celebrate our Anniversary!

We did keep laughing at each other throughout-after all it is a bit random being in a huge bed in the middle of a field watching an open air film with lots of others around, but still it made our Anniversary much more memorable and fun!

Look out for Luna Cinema #starrynights with Double tree, and see if there are any films showing near you (it may have ended already but may be on next year-it is good fun, especially if you win the best seat/bed ;) )

*This isn't a review, and all tickets/winning etc was our own doing!

A year on, the same feelings again

So here I am, a year on (minus two days) with the exact same feelings as this time last year.

The shaking. 

The raise and fall of my temperature.

The loss of appetite at every meal. Or the feeling of being ill soon after eating. 

The constant niggle of bad thoughts, and what ifs. 

The on and off dull achy pain in the pit of my stomach, churning and turning all the while. 

You must be reading this thinking and wondering what bad event or date must be coming up, but in actual fact it is very much the opposite of that. 

Tomorrow is a joyful and one of the most happy of occasions: my best friends wedding, on the same Saturday of the year that we got married last year, where she stood by me as one of my bridesmaids. 

So why do I feel these feelings now, and this past week?

Social anxiety, that's why. Ripping the fun out of a perfect day again. 

It's like my brain mixes up the feeling of excitement and turns it into a great big wrecking ball of nerves, crashing me down whenever I think I have picked myself back up again. 

It comes crashing down in waves, sometimes I can handle it, and other times I just can't cope, I want to run, to hide and to just think of any excuse not to go. 

But certain occasions you just can't do that, more so when you are a bridesmaid!!

I hope the big surge of nerves now is the worst of it, I hope that tomorrow, when I go to my friend of 21 years mother's house for hair and dressing up for the big day that I can't at least create some sort of barrier for the wrecking ball.  Hiding it from everyone there and not freaking out, I just need to get to the venue and then I will be ok, because nobody knows about all my pathetic fears and triggers apart from my husband, the bridal party don't need to know all this all on the morning of her wedding day. 

Rescue remedy will be dropped upon my tongue a lot tomorrow in a bid to at least calm me.  

This is all bringing back memories of how nervous I was before and on our wedding day last year-and I got through that-just wish my brain would catch up and make me feel like I will get through tomorrow no problems too! 

So here's to social anxiety, ripping the fun and excitement of yet another fun and amazing occasion-here's hoping for the next one you will politely p*** off! (excuse me)!