Wednesday, 25 January 2012

30 Days, 30 Posts: Day 25- My fears

I have always been quite an anxious person from a young age, and no matter what I do I don't think that will ever change. It frustrates me so much as I think it holds me back a lot, I have no idea what causes these anxious feelings which makes it even worse. I have fears about really stupid things like...

Eating out: Especially at restaurants, the posher they are the more anxious I feel, the bigger the meal the more anxious I feel. I even get like this around peoples houses too and will purposely try and avoid any situation that I have to eat at restaurants or just opt no to eat. It makes no sense but I remember never eating much at friends houses when I was of primary school age, apparently I never used to eat my lunch when I first started school too...(I don't remember that though). This puts such a strain on me as no one really 'gets' it, and most social meet ups revolve around eating out, my fiancĂ©e hates it too as he loves eating out!

Getting lifts of people: I always get anxious before being picked up by anyone, not sure if this has stemmed from being ill in my mother in law's (to be) car when I was pregnant. Probably the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me. I hated being pregnant-it wasn't kind to me! So now I am always paranoid mainly form that one thing!

Heights: Probably a bit more of a normal fear now compared to the others! But yeah I can't go up close to the edge of things with a height (or even things with not much of a height to be honest)!

Fear of the unknown: And obviously I fear of things that may not happen but could happen, like serious illness within the family, sudden accidents, money problems getting much worse etc. But I don't really want to think too much about stuff like that. 

So there you are that's me, an anxious time bomb. I hate it, I'm embarrassed by it, but not much I can do about it :(

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