Thursday, 19 February 2015

Why can't I play with my boys?

So I have a confession and it really isn't one I am proud of at all.

I suck, really, really suck at being a good Mum who finds time for and plays with my children.

I always wanted to be a fun Mum, making dens, crafting, dressing up and being silly.

Getting involved.

But I am not.

I am a Mum who is always making excuses, always craving 'me time', choosing a house job over playing (despite hating housework) sitting with them but not engaging properly with them, phone in hand usually, or laptop breaks when my mind wanders.

I am sure the words my son's hear most are "in a minute", "later", "we'll do it next day/week..." and how sad is that?

I am more than happy to watch, but I get bored playing the games with them (I am ready for the backlash of that comment as I am sure many people will say how can you), I find it hard to play the same game or push the same cards around over and over.

And yet, as much as I feel guilty I still so nothing about it. What does that say about me?

They are two very happy souls, who are currently playing great together as I type this. Crashing their noisy 4x4 cars into each other and collapsing into giggles, and instead of joining in I am sat watching.

I always had visions of being a fun mum, and I am sure I used to be more of one way back but why can't I be now?

I NEED to snap out of this!

3 comments:

  1. Oh im the same! I get bored fairly quick playing train tracks or made up games im much better at setting the games up and giving them the excitement rather than joining in. I do sometimes for a while and sometimes I watch it sometimes I do my thing as I did mine. My parents left is to it, the took interest they set things up we had free rein but they rarely joined in and I think we turned out ok! Don't he so hard on yourself im not the mum I used to be and it does bug me but just having some messy play ideas etc is a little better than feeling grumpy and selfish all the time! You don't ignore them there is a difference 💜

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    1. I am always happy to set up/ build the lego or duplo etc just rubbish at being fun with games etc! Yes looking back I am sure my parents were the same too-guess it hasn't worked out all that bad! Thank you for your kind words, I think I was having a particularly bad day too which didn't help probably! Hope you are ok xx

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  2. Don't feel guilty - you are an adult - they are small kids, why would you enjoy playing the games they like? My parents never played with us and I don't think we were any worse off for it, being able to make your own fun and not rely on others to provide it is an essential life skill and builds independence and confidence. Just because you don't like playing certain games with them it doesn't mean you don't enjoy spending time with them, they are two different things entirely.

    I have a rule that if I say I'm going to do something I try and follow through. So, if I commit to baking cakes then I will try my hardest to deliver it. That makes me think about what I am promising far more seriously too :0). Also, I do find, that if I put my phone away and commit to being totally focused on the moment, I end up getting more involved as there are less distractions.

    Being a SAHM can sometimes feel relentless in terms of housework and minding the kids. I think it's fairly natural for SAHM's to feel like you feel now and again, but, if you actually looked at a video recording of your week I bet you'd find you do far more playing than you think you do! x

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Thanks for taking the time to comment :)

Gadget

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