So I have a confession and it really isn't one I am proud of at all.
I suck, really, really suck at being a good Mum who finds time for and plays with my children.
I always wanted to be a fun Mum, making dens, crafting, dressing up and being silly.
But I am not.
I am a Mum who is always making excuses, always craving 'me time', choosing a house job over playing (despite hating housework) sitting with them but not engaging properly with them, phone in hand usually, or laptop breaks when my mind wanders.
I am sure the words my son's hear most are "in a minute", "later", "we'll do it next day/week..." and how sad is that?
I am more than happy to watch, but I get bored playing the games with them (I am ready for the backlash of that comment as I am sure many people will say how can you), I find it hard to play the same game or push the same cards around over and over.
And yet, as much as I feel guilty I still so nothing about it. What does that say about me?
They are two very happy souls, who are currently playing great together as I type this. Crashing their noisy 4x4 cars into each other and collapsing into giggles, and instead of joining in I am sat watching.
I always had visions of being a fun mum, and I am sure I used to be more of one way back but why can't I be now?
I NEED to snap out of this!