Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Blackout

Monday started off bad with me being ill first thing, which was the first time in a week (hurrah lasted a whole week), but I actually felt better afterwards and managed breakfast after. And I have generally been feeling much better-the tiredness has kicked in more this last week instead.

Me and Alex headed off to his playgroup as normal, I took it much slower than usual as it took me about 25/30 minutes to walk there rather than 20, and took it fairly easy whilst there-even had some cake during the kids jubilee snack party! 

I then walked to our local Asda which was about 20mins away from there and literally got a handful of items, then piled the pushchair up with Alex in it for the 15min walk back, luckily he got out and walked about 10 minutes of it, but then he decided to get back in as he was tired, it's slightly up hill (very slightly) and I could just feel myself going weird and really wanted him to walk (he's 2 1/2 stone so not a light boy)! I just had no energy to push him, my body just wanted to flop. But I had to keep going, I just wanted to get home even if I did collapse through the door...but then my vision started going, I went really hot and clammy and just had to collapse onto the grass next to the road and opposite loads of peoples houses and a T junction. I felt like such an idiot, and really just wanted someone to walk past and help me for a few minutes, I got up again as really just wanted to be home, crossed the road and had to collapse to the floor again a few metres after. Alex really didn't understand, but despite me hating the fact he'd wanted to get back into the pushchair a few minutes before I was really glad he had so he couldn't run away from me at that time. Bless him he was so cute though, he obviously knew something was up as he stroked my hair and gave me a kiss on my forehead. after about 5 minutes I managed to slowly get home. 

It scared me so, so much as it just came on so suddenly. It happened a few times when I was pregnant with Alex, but it tended to be when I was at work after being on my feet for a period of time, and also it was just me I had to think about then. I just keep thinking what if he hadn't been in the pushchair and I had in fact completely blacked out rather than partially, it's put me off going out alone without James, a friend or family for the time being. 

When does the blossoming bit of pregnancy begin?! (haha never had that last time)! I have decided I am just one of those people who just can't cope with being pregnant, I remember feeling an overwhelming flood of 'normality' back after giving birth to Alex, it's like in pregnancy I just always feel 'off' and I can't quite put my finger on what it is exactly that makes me feel like that.     



4 comments:

  1. I had moments like that when I was pregnant. I was told it was due to low blood pressure and that I had the blood pressure of an olympic athelete (olympic atheletes must feel shit most of the time). Once I was in a state sitting on the pavement (with my daughter in the pushchair) loads of people walked past me and not one asked if I was OK. I thought I lived in a nice friendly area, but everyone just looked at me like I was a drunk

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    1. Yeah I got told last time is was probably due to low b.p, it's horrible isn't it. Loads of cars drove past me, makes me wonder whether I had passed out whether anyone would have noticed! It's horrible isn't it, I think these days everyone is always too afraid to ask people if they are ok! x

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  2. omg how scary :(
    would alex understand if u asked him to get someone to help if it happened again? or if you always had something with you that had it writte on that he could show someone? or would it be more of a worry for him to approach a stranger? im rubbish at knowing what kids can do at whatever age so apologies if this is stupid advice.. i remember when my mum had a fall and my sister was about 2.5 years old and had to get a neighbor :S
    xxxxx

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    1. I don't know, hopefully I won't have to find out! I'm just glad he was in the pushchair after all so he couldn't cross the road or anything! xxx

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